To quote a movie (which I'm really really never good at doing)- So I Married An Axe Murderer- what's his name talks about how there is some kind of addictive ingredient in KFC's fried chicken (which I happen to agree with). Same goes here, once you get a bite of those yummy girl scout grasshopper cookies you've already reached the point-of-no-return - they're addictive! Seriously, I have yet to meet someone who doesn't sneak a cookie until they're all gone- usually within the same hour as they were bought. It's a conspiracy....truly.
Ok, I think I have a sugar problem. Well, I know I've been very partial to sweets for the past 27 of my 28 years (that no sugar thing as a baby rules out that year right) - but since I've had the baby - oh how I've longed for the sweet goodies of the Earth. That's right, it's not just grasshopper cookies (though those have been my most recent obsession)- it's pretty much anything that has enough sugar in to feed a gazillion bazillion ants for eternity (thanks to Devaughn for the unique time frame). I really really like the glazed Krispy Kreme doughnuts - but they must be fresh or it loses much of its savor.
As Slade is still nursing I think he's going to have some serious sugar issues as well. I've already figured that one out though...I'm going to be a do as I say mom and not a do as I do and I'll stash away the goodies for myself. He'll be none the wiser! Mark takes issue with that, he also takes issue with the fact that I refuse to eat fish (except tuna, who can turn that down?), peas, green beans, grapefruit, canned fruit, soft carrots and much of the like. Drown my salad in raspberry vinagarrette, give me as much butter, sour cream, and bacon bits as there is baked potato, give me a side of ranch with everything, give me lots of syrup for those oh-so-yummy IHOP pancakes, give me lots and lots of marshmallows in my Marshmallow Mateys, New York Cheesecake, rice krispy treats, brownies with icing (I think they only do that in Utah) - and I'm all about it. Just let me eat cream cheese eclairs for breakfast, those generic marshmallow rounds from Wal-Mart for lunch, and flan for dinner with a side of oreo ice cream for dessert. Ok, so I don't really eat that way, but I'm picturing that is what heaven will be like for me. My mansion's pantry will be stocked with only the good stuff! Acting as if he's a sweet old lady with none of my barbaric sugar inclinations, Mark claims he can't stomach many sweets, but stick a few here and there around the kitchen and he sniffs them out like a vengeful bloodhound in no time and by day's end the kitchen is like a deserted town in an old western- empty wrappers blowing across the lonely floor and skeletal dogs roaming around for non-existent scraps.
On a side note, I have no idea why I cannot seem to lose this 'baby' weight, it won't budge?
1 comment:
Dude, I have the same problem. The jelly belly is here to stay.
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