My Big-Headed /But Otherwise Completely Average Son

Ok, so just took Slade in for his 9 month check up- I really look forward to these Dr. visits (not for the shots though, poor child) just so I can see how much more he's grown and what his percentiles are. When he was born (9lbs.12 0z. 22 inches long) he was nearly 100% for everything- head, height, weight - whoo hoo - I'd done good! I'd given birth (or rather had him ripped from me in a very serious surgical routine after FOUR days of labor and NOTHIN) to a very healthy giant! For some reason this was a source of great pride to me. We all do that as mothers though, you can't help it, I think it's biological. We compare. what is your child doing that mine isn't or vice versa. Oooooh, my child is already in the 97th percentile for height, he is guaranteed to be Master of the Universe for sure!

The nurse, who usually oogles over Slade, just measures him, weighs him and walks out. When she came back I eagerly asked about his stats...(to take a page out of Amelia's blog):

Me: So nurse, what are his stats? (me bouncing a little on the edge of my seat awaiting an affirmative that my child is still large for his age)
Nurse: Oh, he's completely average- 50% for weight and 55% for height - but his head is a little large, nothing for concern, just a little large - 75%.
Me: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO - my son is average?!?!?!?!?
Yes, unreasonable I know, but man I loved hearing he was big.

Upon Mark's arrival home from work:

Me: Our son is completely average Mark.

Mark: Huh? How's his package (he apparently has a slight condition of excessive fat above his 'winkie' that pushes the skin forward though he's been circumcised (again, poor kid)- kind of like the bigger guys who's winkies appear small b/c their fat pushes the skin forward...or something along those lines. I've never personally witnessed this but have heard about it from other sources....ok, Mark told me. Anyhow, his winkie had become a little infected looking b/c the skin is always over it. He's been man (or baby) handling it for weeks now (i hear this is a guy thing even from his young age- as soon as his diaper comes off he's got some sort of magnetic pull to it..with BOTH hands...making sure it's still there I presume?) but lately he's been going at it with a little more frenzy. Little did I know I was supposed to be pulling back the skin daily (I usually just try to steer clear of it as they are STILL mysteries to me!) to help it attach to where it was supposed to...no, I'm not going to be more graphic than that - but his winkie is fine overall).

Me: His package is fine, nothing a little Bacitracin won't clear up. Did you hear me? Our son is average in height and weight now...except for his slightly large noggin- which is probably your fault - he's got a big brain like yours! (which is one of the only ways our son resembles either one of us (besides his hair color)- seriously, whose kid is he really?)

Mark: (sighs and retreats to the bathroom)

So there you have it - his 9 month stats, he's average in height and weight. Once his looks start to go I'll really be in for a depressive episode. My Dr. also told me I'm nursing him way too often (5 times a day is too much at almost a year?!?) and I need to cut back and give him more table food. I really disliked nursing for that first month or so, but now I love it. It's sweet and cozy, conveniet, FREE, and best of all I'm the only one who can give it to him so that makes me special to him!
Oh well, things could be worse I suppose.... On the upside- he is now beginning to feed himself and shakes his head vigorously and emphatically "NO!" when I try to feed him with a spoon myself. I still force the food on him, (gotta keep those stats up to at least AVERAGE!) but it's nice that he's showing some preference and personality now. :)