A great percentage of my wardrobe is black. I haven't tried to consciously made a statement (good or bad) with my clothing since I don't know when- so it's not that I think of myself darkly or that I have deep thoughts or anything- its just so easy to match things with. I don't care to dilly dally (is that how you spell that?) with trivial things like that anymore (let's be honest shall we, I've got the husband, don't have to compete with other girls at my place of employment, and Slade could care less how I dress so....the obvious conclusion is the one I have subconsciously drawn I'm assuming). I just like to have a closet where I can just grab something comfy from and be on my way. My only issue with this color is that it more clearly reflects my deodorant stripes which I very commonly obtain whilst dressing myself in haste to maximize my 'me' time while the baby sleeps. I'm not the only one who has noticed this about me - one time one of my Primary Girls noticed I wore something non-black and sat in wonderment all through Opening Exercises.
Laura Ingrahm ran a segment on her program the other day about dressing the part as there is a new company out where the Pres. is a young guy who discriminates against people who dress up for the job- preferring those who dress more honestly and comfortably. Would I be a better mom, wife, teacher if I dressed differently, or am I good b/c now I don't let it rule me so much anymore? I think how you present yourself (talking aesthetically here right now) makes a big difference in what conclusions people draw about you. I know Sarah has said in her blog that if someone doesn't 'thrill' her upon first meeting then they're pretty much going nowhere with her- I relate to that in my own way, but much less so now that I'm a SAHM. I think it goes much deeper than that though. When I met Mark I was anything but impressed. I thought he was stuck up (he's just so smart, relaxed, and well mannered what was I to assume compared to my flighty, ill-grounded, social obsessed self?) but was mostly unimpressed with him b/c he dressed very poorly (who wears flannel and genuinely holey pants anymore?!?) thus deciding that he wasn't someone I really wanted to associate with based pretty much on that alone- shallow huh (he was my home teacher though, so the inevitable did happen). When I got over myself and realized I was being too superficial I got to know the real Mark and now I'm grateful he condescended to marry me...truly I am (I'm not saying this is Sarah's motivation at all for saying this- it just jumped out to me as her sense of humor does and got me thinking). Mark is a mystery wrapped in an enigma, blah blah blah. Every day he surprises me with something new- usually an epiphany from me when I realize how far advanced in thinking skills and such than I am (though I credit myself with actually coming to that realization- and that's progress!). Though it takes time to get to know Mark, it is definitely worth the effort as my own family has found (well, I would say that wouldn't I?). Mark is the kind of person who if he can't say anything nice, well, he just keeps it to himself and is generally amused by it and that's enough for him, sometimes he shares it with me and then knowing he does that keeps me guessing about things from that point on. I've never met a man like Mark and believe me, back in the day I had my fill of dating and meeting guys. Without going on endlessly about my admiration for this guy- would things have been different if he'd dressed differently or dressed differently now?
What I guess this all comes from is how much of competing with the Jones' we do without really thinking about it anymore and what kind of people we become for that. Though I am proud of my beater car and she's been very good to me- I still feel a tinge of jealousy when I see a car with all 4 hubcaps and a shiny paint job pass me by. I know that it's more important to pay off our mortgage asap and have food on our table, and not have to be 'bailed out' of life by others...does what I wear matter?
Weight gain aside (I'll post soon on my new results after attending the gym religiously for a month...so it's less of an issue now) am I now the typical Mormon SAHM that I dreaded so much before I became one? If I am then why didn't I do this sooner? No more wasted money, time, worry and the like- I'm a free bird livin the sweet life. Ok, seriously, do I need a change- what do you think I'm missig here? Haha
3 comments:
I've realized that staying at home does not in any way equal homely, drab, or everyone else first. I like to look nice, put on make-up, do my hair, where jewlery, even when I have no where to go. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a walking billboard for MaryKay by any stretch of the imagination, but I refuse to throw every bit of me into my family and lose myself.
I think ultimately what matters is how you feel in what you wear. If you don't mind wearing all black, hey, have at it. I know that I need to look nice to feel good and that's not keeping up with the Jones'. That's keeping up with me which is a good thing.
I like your comment. I too do the whole hair/jewelry/makeup deal to feel good (some of my SAHM friends think I probably go a little overboard actually but I don't want to disappear the woman my husband did marry originally)- I just for some reason have grown my wardrobe in a black direction without thinking about it along the way. I notice when I go out shopping or whatever during the time that other women do who can spend all of their money on clothing and such that I feel very out of place now- I'm not trendy anymore or competitive- I've definitely lost any edge I once imagined having.
So I'm not saying you should don a mumu and eat bon bons all day, but I do notice a difference now in who I am when i go out publicly now from who I was just a year or so ago. I'm wondering if that's a good thing, bad thing, or nothing.
Megan's husband Josh said that he could always tell how close he was getting to the Married studenth ousing based on teh girls he woudl see walking around. Campus = high heals, make-up and trendy cloths. As he got closer to home he saw more sweat pants, t-shirts, girsl with their hair pulled up in a pony tail wearing sensible shoes.
As you know Lisa, I've NEVER been on the cutting edge of fashion (I still remember thinking as a child "it's sunday, I don't have to match.") I also have a wardrobe mostly consisting of black (it helped with the dog hair that was shed on every item in the house, since scottie was black). I have trouble paying $30+ for a t-shirt and so I wear my thrift shop clothes happily even if I do resemble the kid of "What About Bob?". I have been trying to introduce some bright assessories to brighten the look up a bit. I really enjoy my turquiose sparkly flats =). Whatever you wear just make sure you feel good in it.
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