Last night after I had finished clipping my final billionth free coupon for the night around midnight (thanks Katie!) I cleaned up the living room and was turning out the light when I heard Slade stir and cry something out. I stopped in my tracks to listen for anything further to see if he needed me to put him back down (he's been teething and waking himself up a bit lately). The next thing I heard was, "Momma, momma, momma."
I went in to see if he was ok and found he was still asleep and must have been having baby dreams with me in them? :) I tucked him back into his blanket and rubbed his tummy before heading back out.
Lately he has really become a momma's boy even moreso than before, if possible, and has demanded my attention more now by his now clearly enunciated, "Mommas". I can't even put into words the love that I feel in my heart for my little boy or how important I feel when he calls for me. I get choked up just writing about it.
To make a sweet moment sweeter, I then crawled into bed and my sweet husband rolled over and demanded that I cuddle him and told me he loved me. Despite my weaknesses, mistakes, crazy antics, and the like - I have a place in my boys hearts that rises above all that and sees what I hope oneday to become.
Thank you Heavenly Father for sending us your children who remind us what love and purpose are. Thank you for repentance, forgiveness, unconditional love, forever families and divinity. I have much to be thankful for this season, and I am.
On another, final note - I have much sadness in my heart over what is transpiring politically and even more sadness for the lack of interest in the population both for and against Obama. It is a sigh of resignation from many who declare by quoting the 11th Article of Faith about supporting our leaders that they will too support Obama and hope that come next term we can replace him with someone better. While this is part of a good solution, I can't help but feel that there is unfinished business to these declarations. What I wish I also heard was genuine worry about the future and determination from my fellow Americans to resolve to do whatever they can to be stalwart and actively fight for the rights of our freedom and for the lives that are taken away. As has been seen, it hasn't helped to go from term to term voting but not doing much in between times- where much is given much is required. I may express my thoughts and feelings on this matter more freely than some may think I should, but I have come to a point where I cannot stand by while our country goes to pot. I can come up with no pretty words to describe the insanity that has come of this election- this one much more so than previous ones b/c it has marked a huge precedent- you don't have to be qualified, noble, honest, virtuous, of good report, or praiseworthy to become president of the greatest nation on earth. You don't even have to be able to pass credibility with the military itself- you just have to be a good deceiver. That people knew so little about this candidate's past and the things they did know of his beliefs were anything but impressive to downright evil (is there any other term for the murder of our children?)- is what has thrown me for such a negative and mind boggling loop that I cannot fathom what their justifications could be for nevertheless lending their support to him and his causes. Despite my negative perception of many of my fellow men right now, I do not feel that anything is unsalvagable at this point.
I have such little free time between my mothering and wifely duties that I feel blogging has fallen to the very bottom of my list of importance. It started out with good intentions, but with the turn that has taken place in society, I can't justify using any more of my little free time spewing forth negativity (unfortunately that is all I have been feeling these days...in the extreme)- besides I've been falling behind on my couponing/shopping! In the not too distant future I will be deleting this blog as I refocus my energies where I feel they will matter most- on my family, growing my family, and becoming more actively involved in my community, state, and country. Feel free to email me anytime on my progress on becoming a better citizen at taylor.elisabeth@gmail.com or with ideas of your own.
Some may think my excessive persistence to 'choose the right candidate' as of late may be overstepping the situation and that the end of times will wait as it always has, but I believe differently and do not wish to lose any more of my precious time figuring I'll have more time to make a difference down the road, especially when I have an example to set for my child(ren). I believe we're near enough to that point that much is required of me now.
Thanks to everyone for your support and happy blogging.
5 comments:
First: Is that a new email address I should send everything to, or a special political themed one?
Second: I don't want you to quit blogging! I might not agree with everything you say, but I never did and I like you anyway =) I like being able to know what is going on in you life and see photos of your munchkin (I never did get that halloween photo). take break if you need too but don't quit!
I have fallen behind on my 'coupon clipping' as well...it seems like once you skip a week, the next week is harder to re-start again...how do you do it? I need to be better at it.
That was a sweet moment w/ Slade and Mark... I'm grateful for 'children who remind us what love and purpose are' too! We are so blessed to have them. :)
I agree, I don't think you should quit. Sometimes having an outlet such as writing helps when you are down. I think if you wanted you could start a political blog,and blog all you want about politics, but keep this blog for everything else.
This election is not the end of the world, God still has to much work for all of us to do. He wants us to be happy, so I know you are disappointed, but as it says in the scriptures, "Be of good cheer" Look at the blessings you have, Your family, and this country still is greatest Country in the World, and I have faith in people, that they still love freedom, and won't allow anything to extreme. You can push them to a degree, but I think we as American's value freedom to much to let anything to rash happen.
Ok, so apparently I have more readers than I assumed- why don't you guys leave comments on the blog- it's actually easier than emailing me :)
I think I will keep the blog alive if not just for pictures and family updates- that's easy enough.
Claudia- I try to cut out the coupons Monday at the latest (Mark won't let me do it on Sundays- haha) and then jump on the ads to see what'll work with what. I cut, sort, and file as quick as I can (I pretty much just get the one paper delivered these days so not multiple copies to cut out, it's just doesn't seem to be worht it in this state- it's gotta be against the law to NOT double coupons here! :). I'm behind now b/c I traded 3 coupons for a gazillion from a ward mom friend. One friend said she just started a filing system, she'll keep me posted on how that works instead of clipping them.
Kelli- Maybe you're right about it being an outlet, but as of late it seems more like a futile waste of time, as in time would be better spent really actively doing something that'll contribute more to society. But I have been reading other friends and family blogs since that are just as up in arms about it all as I am and that bolsters my faith in humanity back up a bit. In that sense it has been a great help!
I was just telling a friend today I pretty much knew what was going to happen, but man, I experienced some serious emotions that I'd not anticipated topped with a gnawing in my gut that has been keeping me awake nightly and kept me from eating- always in a state of anxiety. It's weird how differently I view things since taking on motherhood and how I am so eager to try to help change things for the better for my children. Though at this rate I wonder, do I REALLY want to bring another child into this- it takes guts and sacrafice to do it knowing what they'll be facing in their lifetimes.
I feel what I feel and I don't know why it has really wrenched my heart so much lately but it has. My old Bishop and I have been sharing things as of late and he had wonderful advice too. I have it saved and have already deferred to it several times in the past few days. On top of everything else- my faith isn't near where it needs to be...one thing at a time I suppose :) Thanks for your response!
I am glad you are going to keep your blog. My first baby was born a few weeks before September 11, 2001. I remember feeling the same way, "What have I brought a new child into" (NOt that I am comparing this election by any means to Sept. 11th, I am just saying That I felt what you felt about bringing a child into this crazy world)But those feelings soon went away. Brinley is now 7, happy and if anything this World could use more girls like her!
Post a Comment