Defining thoughts

I haven't had any defining moments lately but I feel like I have had some defining thoughts. Recently someone close to our family pointed out to me that I was being dangerously judgmental of others while chiding those who are judgmental of me and mine. Having the truth placed before you, articulated in such a way to let you know that perhaps you have some re-thinking to do without being too harsh is a skill which I lack but envy in others. I don't think we can learn how to be better without having the truth placed before us when needed - a good swift kick in the pants. :) I'm pretty sure that natural tact may never be a forte or mine, but I'm determined to refine my current skill level significantly. It reminded me of a book my sister read recently, I think it was called 'The Last Lecture' or soemthing to that effect. What stood out to my sister in the book is that the author shared a story of how a fellow colleage- even somewhat of a wiser elder to the author I believe - articulated to him graciously that it was too bad he was a jerk b/c he had valuable things to share but the way he behaved put people off towards him. Thus rendering his usefulness useless and depriving him of valuable life experiences. That was a defining moment to him and he changed his tune. I think I'm in the middle of his story and it's time for me to change my tune a bit. I need a tune-up.

This past week I have been noticing in my daily actions, conversations, and thoughts how much work is needed in the area of being Christlike for me! It's startling and has been very disturbing on a constant basis and level of consciousness so I think writing a little about it may ease my mind a bit.

I have made it a recurring goal for myself to replace the negative thoughts (even pet peeves!) that pop into my head with something that I am grateful for and/or find something good about what I'm judging harshly and then remember that I am far from perfect as well. While it's ok to have the negative feelings b/c I believe they are natural thinking in our society - they are not ok to often share b/c 1. Sharing a problem without a realistic and reasonable solution is useless and selfish. 2. Putting negativity into someone else's day on purpose only serves to harm in many ways. 3. It may not be a negative thing at all, just something I've contrived in my day to fill my time up when I need to be doing just the opposite. 4. We are so blessed in our society that there are many imperfections but overall if is the BEST - so just help work on perfecting - actively.

I talked at length to my sister-in-law about the above and wondered aloud how I could make a difference in the world in a positive way as we worked on a home improvement task together. How could I make it better for my child and so on. She sat for a moment (she is a very sweet hearted girl whose personality is almost the reflective opposite of mine) and said she'd been having similar thoughts to mine since she also had a child recently. She said the most she could decide to do right now while she was trying to figure out how else to make a difference was to make it a difference in her home. HELLO- isn't that what the church teaches at its core? Ok, so that is why we go to church to be reminded that we should be actively trying to be more perfected, not bog ourselves down with dreariness and complaints! So thanks Michelle and Dan! I have new goals for this year (besides weight loss of course, that's still high on the list but apparently low on daily to-do's...sigh). I have a new goal to be a better member of my church for the sake of my family, friends, and society. Ahh, now I feel better. It takes a very healthy and hearty willingness and positive mentality to be actively engaged in righteous endeavors - it is my goal to develop and re-define my daily words, acts, and behaviors. I challenge whoever reads this to share their own thoughts on the matter and be actively engaged. I tell my Valiant girls this every Sunday, so it has been in my brain somewhere. I think it's like Dan said - it's easy to see the motes in other eyes while bypassing the beam in ours. I'm going to start tugging at my beams - this may take awhile!