So here's an update on my weight situation now that I'm on the home stretch (5 days left til B-Day celebration time). Not only have I gained back what I lost but I have now gained 3 lbs. on top of that. Here's the kicker- the weight gain came from exercising!!! I have limited what I eat (ok, except on Slade's actual birthday- day we did share an unhealthy amount of peanut butter fudge shoppe cookies to 'celebrate'- dang those sales!!) and last week I took Slade out in the Croozer and along with Harley we ran/walked over 16 miles. That's about 10 miles more than what I've done since giving birth- and this all in the span of a few days.
No, I'm not pregnant and no my scales aren't broken (tried and tested on both accounts!) - I'm just heavier. Period.
The most interesting part about this is that I'm not heartbroken, deterred, or mentally shaken by this news.....at all! In the past when I was like 16-18...ok and 18-26 years old I'd have had a mental breakdown over seeing these figures on the scale - 168 full-fledged pounds!!! I once reached 153 and began an anorexic fast coupled with the most exercise I'd ever done in my life until I'd lost a good 15 lbs. and maintained it.
Due to my unconditionally loving husband, child, family, dogs, friends, my Valiant girls, and of course the church - I am quite happy with myself and my life - a happiness that is not deterred by weight gain, pimples, bad haircuts, dumb posts (on my part, yes), accidental offenses, etc... Who'd have known it'd take me 29 years to truly know that I love myself as I am?
I think when I went through my depressive postpartum episode I realized there were major ideals I needed to change in my life. With the assistance of medication, yes - I am a medicated woman currently- I was able to overcome the worst experience of my life in order to experience the best. Though I still do suffer through moments of depression, uncertainly, frustration, fear, etc... I can say that these are just moments and I'm able to only allow them a healthy amount of time to be lived in my short life - for I think that these emotions are definitely healthy to have to a degree. Now, I am a proud, contented, happy mother, wife, daughter, friend, teacher, ect...
A year ago I'd have never pictured being happy again, muchless as a mother - now being so IS my true happiness and contentment.
I will continue my weight loss adventures, undeterred by what probably is just muscle gain anyway, and post them here for those who are interested to keep up with - and enjoy myself with my child and husband in the process. I can now say that I'm truly fat AND happy! :)
7 comments:
I hear you about gaining weight when you excise. I can't lose weight for the life of me, but I work out one hour every day. It makes me feel better. I swear the weight gain is hormonal. Look seven days ago you were down nine pounds, give it a week and you might be down there again. Even if you don't lose the weight keep working out, you will feel better! I promise!
Hey- thanks for the advice! I'm trying to figure out if my body has really figured out or not that I really am weaning and it's ok for my 'cycle' to resume again. I'm hoping to get it down pat before November when we start trying for a sibling for Slade! Either way it's confused and I think that's contributing to the weight gain as well, I gain if I do or gain if I don't...what a sad flux for my poor stretch-mark ridden body! Is this Trent's Kelli or Cory's Kelli- it won't let me see you?!
If it makes you feel better - the same thing happens to me. I exersize and watch what I eat and see very little progress on the scale. On the other hand I have noticed my tush looking better and I do fit in my clothes a bit better. soo...
It's still frustrating though.
Megan swears that the only way she can lose weight is to not eat after 6:30pm.
Otherwise her body is very happy the way it is thank you very much!
You, my friend have such a great outlook on life! Thanks for sharing so openly. I need to be more 'real' and not care what people think of me because really who cares. I think you find out who your true friends are.
Hi all- thanks for the words of encoragement - I'm going to keep on trucking- I want to be able to physically enjoy as much of life as I can with my kids- but it really was amazing to me when the realization hit that the numbers on the scale don't affect me mentally anymore! freedom!
You're totally right Standita- I honestly don't care about sharing my weight or personal issues- it's how we help each other overcome and grow stronger. If someone judges me for them, well - that pretty much tells me they're not worth my time. I've only had love and support come of it though so, I think it's a positive thing. There are things to keep private, but I think many problems spiral out of control in our subconscious b/c we're always fighting to keep them down so we don't get judged or whatever...come to find it never even mattered to anyone but you - so you spend so many hours and brainpower devoted to rubbish - no thanks! :)
Amen sister. Sounds like we have been on the same exact journey since having our babies.
I too am on that weight loss journey. But for me, it's lasted my whole life.
But it hasn't been until recently that I realized I am happy for just being me. I have a husband and family who loves me for, well, me. And that is something worth being happy about.
You are one amazing woman Liz. Maybe I can take a page out of your book. After having Zack, I really don't feel beautiful at all (those 9 lbs baby I guess will do that to a woman). I think you look great and I am glad to hear that you are happy and enjoying life. I am starting my exercise routine this week and I am going to try and be like you, no matter what happens, be happy with life and what it has given you. Life is too short.
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