How Much Are You Worth?

Recently Mark and I were discussing our family costs and how we can lower them (ironically enough we were on our way to Capitol Reef for a vacation...hello! But it was MUCH needed - we hadn't been on one since I was 4 months preggo). Anyhow, Mark said, "It takes me a whole day to work for that (referring to something I had deemed worthy to purchase)."

Now, I'm a shopper, but I'm not a spender. I buy everything on sale, use coupons, find deals, etc. I am a fairly cheap wife to have. I'm not super romantic and do not desire frilly things to keep me contented. I am very happy being a stay-at-home wife and do not need fabulous vacations or costly outings to keep me sane. I highly value putting money away for retirement, emergencies, and saving for household goods we'd like to someday own. What I find almost the most attractive about my husband is that he's a planner! He has goals, ambitions, and plans for just about every facet of his life / our lives. He works incredibly hard and puts so much work and thought into everything he does. So I do not take lightly the money he earns - on the other hand I feel he often forgets that while I am not bringing in income- that I am worth A LOT.

I took this opportunity to remind him of all that I do at home with cleaning, cooking, caring for our child (most importantly). I then decided that I needed to 'break down' my stay-at-home salary to Mark. It went something like this -

For the excellent one-on-one childcare that I provide to our son 24/7:

During peak hours (7am-9pm, his waking hours): $100/day is very reasonable for one-on-one care and (remember this includes weekends - NO DAYS OFF :-) Since I nurse our son I have saved us at least $2000 this year in formula and untold amounts in protection from potential sickness and/or recovery time. As Mark often works late, has scouts, is away from home 24/7 as he travels for work - I am often the sole caregiver for our son throughout the duration of these hours. = $3000/month

During off-peak hours (9pm-7am): $25/day is very reasonable as I am the one who gets up with him at night if he awakens due to sickness, teething, or whatever. When Slade was first born and I was up multiple times a night to nurse I would have 'charged' much more than this, but now he rarely wakens...knock on wood. = $750/month

For my mediocre cooking skills (guaranteed to continue improving): For shopping (planning the deals, cutting and using coupons, not buying extraneous goods), preparing, storing, and cooking $500/mo. This includes packing daily lunches & nightly cooking.

For my mediocre cleaning skills (also guaranteed to continue to improve): I'll only ask for $300/month. I am always on time with clothes and dishes- but everything thereafter is done at my leisure (often behind schedule).

So I am worth at a minimum $4500/month. That's a decent job I've got right here - a good $50k.

And this is just for 1 child, as we keep piling them on I'm only going to increase in value!

Of course Mark had something to say about my Math between peals of manly laughter (my original calculation was somewhere closer to $20k/mo.) - he was truly amused.

Mark responded, "Okay, well in that case we need to re-evaluate my worth as well. We'll say that in addition to the salary I bring home from work, we need to figure out how much I'm worth for my general contractor duties (referring to all of the projects always going on around our home, most recently the beautiful awning he built). Then there's my landscaping and lawncare duties...."

Okay, so maybe he does make a little more than me going by this line of reasoning - but come on, stay-at-home moms are not really thought of in terms of monetary worth or what WE are giving up in order to give OUR children good lives. Mothers are the MOST important figures in their children's lives- they have such influence over their children and how their children eventually come to contribute to society. There's NO way a monetary value can be placed on this noble and blessed calling. Unlike a job, you HAVE TO care about those you are around daily. You cannot call in sick. You cannot be raunchy to them just because you're having a bad day. You run an entire household 24/7 FOREVER! It is really the coolest job around and that's why I'm so proud and feel so lucky to be able to stay at home - to have a husband who insists on it and works so hard to enable me to do so.

And yet still, when Mark refers to how many hours it took for him to earn something, I just tell him to put it on my tab!